Next Stop, Greenwich Village

Yup, I'm back in the kitchen. But don't have much bitch'n. At least not right now.
My life is almost normal now. I have dinner with my son at home just about every night. I look and feel like a different person.
My first paycheck, I thought, wow- this is great! Then after I'd paid bills that week I got nervous. Uh, oh- gonna be a little tight on money. Then I remembered, hey! I get another one this Friday! You see, I went without pay pretty much the whole time during the business. I could count the times I got paid on one hand and still have enough fingers left to snap.
All the problems, all the non-stop bullshit that goes on every single day in this business- I empathize, but I can go home. I talk with the owner and the executive chef and I really try to help them and I know from all the way inside of me how hard it is for them but it's not my head anymore.
The kitchen needs a complete overhaul. The equipment needs a complete overhaul. Honestly, I don't know how they passed their health inspection. I do wish that I could show them where I came from, and even before that, and come to think of it-before that one too! How clean, how state of the art.
But I always say, I cut my teeth in a place like this. Where you just make it work. How many employees did I have that whined constantly about equipment and tools. I wanted to shake them by their neck and say, "do you know how good you have it?!". I do harbor a little resentment for some of the people who were with me. How they took so much for granted, especially my kindness. People can be so lazy, and yes I see it at the new job as well, but at my place they had me by the short hairs. It was like gym class, you get an A just for showing up and bringing your sneakers.
I have a new found sense of freedom. My hands are back in the food again. I cook every single day and bake too. Though I have bosses, and sometimes they are hard to please I feel that I can learn a lot. In some ways this is different from anything I've ever done. I have a couple of menus coming up that were given to me that are really a departure for me but I am excited about executing them.
Now I am also coming out as my true self. I told my one stupid Spanish joke I know to the guys and they laughed. The kitchen is so damn small that we are like roaches on top of one another in there. We can't help rubbing against each other as we move around. I told this one kid who's a dishwasher that if he does that one more time he's going to have to marry me.
Now too, I am reflecting and analyzing my whole life. My son will be leaving for school next autumn and I will be an empty nester. I have wanted to sell my house for some time, and that is really the way for me to finish off the debt from the cafe. And so I ask myself, do I still belong in Stamford? Maybe this is the beginning of a whole new life.
I have fallen in love with Greenwich Village. As a kid I lived on the Upper West Side and as a young adult I lived on the Upper East Side. I love how people seem to know each other. I love the architecture and the fact that you can see the sky. I think about my dogs, becoming city dogs. Getting rid of my car. Becoming completely unencumbered. Of being near my daughter. The culture, the life.
Even if this job does not work out, because it might not. One never knows. It opened my eyes. I'm done with the past. I have friends and family that I love in Stamford but there is no where for me to go career-wise. I'm in the big pond now. I'm with the big fish. I love where I am and where I'm going. It just may be time to kiss the suburbs goodbye with the next stop, Greenwich Village.