Attack of the Web " Foodies"

Here is something that really cranks my craw.
The foodie websites.
I admit, I read 'em. A lot. I'm checking out the competition. I'm seeing if anyone wrote about my place. I live in fear that one of my servers is going to do something rude or unprofessional and one of these people will write one of their little "reviews" about it. Or, one of the rare times that something comes out of the kitchen poorly done- it goes to one of them and they write it up.
Everyone is a critic now. It's bad enough that there are real critics, published with followings. One, from a major newspaper that I live in fear of is like 80-something years old and is a little cranky. She tends to review places when they have just opened and NOBODY has their act together in the first 3 months. I'm sorry. It just takes some time. I was terrified that she'd come to us when we first opened this place but she didn't. And she still has not, so now I feel like we're being snubbed. And yet, she could walk in any moment and we'll be under the microscope unbeknownst to us.
But- my pet peeve as I said before are the "foodie" bloggers and commenters on blogs.
Here is my favorite.
A new place will be opening. In one case it was a Crumbs bakery. These people have nothing better to do than to write about when are they opening, "I looked in the window the other day but nothing was going on",or, "I hope it 's better than so and so's". If I weren't going to get kicked off of the thread I'd write "why don't you people get a friggin' life? Do you not have anything better to do?" Looking in windows, for crying out loud and then reporting that nothing was going on.
Then they start the countdown. "Opening in 5 days!!". Then they start up with "Crumbs, not opening on time". Then the know-it-alls come on and tell why- because of the zoning permits or some other way to show what a big-shot they are that they know the behind the scenes story.
Then "saw a light on in Crumbs, could they be opening??". Crickey mate! Shouldn't you people be working or helping poor people? They'll open and sell their damn cupcakes one of these days.
Finally, "Crumbs, Open!!"
Then the posts about getting free samples, the lines were too long. We didn't get our free samples, the employees didn't even know we were supposed to get free samples...
And next, the dump.
"Crumbs, not so great"
" Yeah, I tried 15 different flavors and though the red velvet was pretty good they seemed pretty commercial tasting"
"The layout of the store is weird. And the help wasn't very good"
And on and on. I swear, one of these things had a thread about 27 posts long about this nonsense.
Then there's the difference in perception. Most of the bloggers seemed to think my prices are reasonable especially for the quality of the food. Then some other moron gets on and says that we're kind of pricey and the portions are skimpy (they're not).
Some people are just plain crazy, behave badly in the restaurant and unfortunately they have computers where they like to vent in a public forum. Yet I am not allowed to go on too and say "this person is mentally unstable and is unfit to be a reviewer"
There's one guy on a foodie website,(and by the way, I absolutely hate the term "foodie") who is so pompous and such a know-it-all that he thinks it is his place to welcome new posters on the website, like it's his home and he's answering the door in his smoking jacket with a pipe in his mouth, "come in", he says, "welcome". He also writes in the third person, an incredibly obnoxious writing style. His identity is that he is supposed to be his dog writing about his owner's opinions. How are we supposed to take him seriously?
But I am a slave to the public. As I walk around my dining room smiling and talking with my customers I wonder. Who are these people? Are they the same ones I read who sit up at night and critique me? Is the dog-man sitting in my place right now? Is he someone I actually know? That's why you have to suck up to everybody. Because you never know who's an amateur critic waiting to put you down.