The Health Inspection

I expected the inspector. She was supposed to make a return visit to check on corrections that she wanted me to have done. They were ridiculous things for as I have learned, the health inspectors in my town are on some kind of crazy power trip and go to real extremes. Every time they come they change the rules.

So far today it's the usual. The day crew is prepping for lunch. I answer e-mails, set up the cash drawer, call the produce company because they are late with the order. I have to hire a new server so I am going through resumes. I then leave for a while to take care of some errands and as I am pulling into my space behind the cafe I get the dreaded call that the health inspector has just shown up.

Now, let me just say that I run a very, very clean kitchen. I am disgusted by some of my fellow restaurateurs- there is some pretty nasty shit out there. My place is new, up to all codes and kept meticulously clean. However, I have learned that that doesn't matter with this particular health department. When the health inspector came last month she got me on all kinds of ridiculous little nits IE- sanitizer must be kept in a RED bucket. So I made a point of correcting all of these stupid little things because I have such pride in my place and I want to score really high.

When I get inside instead of the woman who came in last month I see a completely different person from the health department. He tells me that this is not my re-inspection, but that this is a new inspection entirely (what the f---?). Because they are going to post restaurant inspections on line now, they are going to do them all over again. (I repeat, what the f---?)

So he proceeds to inspect. And if I thought the previous inspector was a nit-picker, forget it compared to this one. I see that he keeps circling things on his paper and it's making me frantic. A server drops a glass behind the bar and it shatters. As I help him sweep I silently give thanks that the ice bin was closed when this happened or I would have been emptying it all out for safety. By the way, lunch service was in full swing and the place was packed when this was going on. Then, my father who is a partner in the business and is 76 years old and seems to go behind that bar like a magnet when we are busy and there is no room for another person, let alone a person who moves a little slowly, proceeds to drop the cover to the ice bin on the floor with yet another big crash. I make a big production out of carrying it to the dishwasher to be sanitized. I keep waving to my father to GO AWAY- GET IN THE BACK! Next the annoying sound of my cell phone- it's my son's guidance counselor finally returning my calls regarding my son's failing his math class. "Uh, health inspector is here, can I call you right back?". One of the cooks forgets to put on a hat. The FIRST thing you do when the health inspector comes is TO PUT ON A HAT.

It just felt like some kind of amateur hour. Every time I turned around it seemed someone was doing something stupid that would cost us another point.
Finally when he was done scoring I sat with him and he had failed us.

This really disturbed me. I try so hard but they keep coming up with new laws, new regulations that they don't inform us on. Crazy, crazy stuff. I said to him, "would you eat here?" because that is the mark of a clean restaurant, if the health inspector eats there. He said, "Oh, of course!". I said "I'll bet there are plenty of places in town that you wouldn't eat at" and he kind of laughed and nodded in agreement.

So now I have more stuff to fix. And pay for . And I am humiliated. In my old town where I ran kitchens I always scored 100. My lowest was a 92. A failure here is 80, which is what we got. If they published any of my violations I wouldn't give a damn because they have nothing to do with preparing and storing food safely. No, my menus don't say "not cooking meat, poultry and eggs to proper temperature may cause foodborne illness", but a -4 points for this crap?? I use a towel to anchor my cutting boards. I always have. I learned this in school. I have never been advised otherwise. -2 points now, must use some kind of rubber matting instead. The inspector didn't even know what the hell the mat is called. Or where to get it for that matter.

He'll be back in 2 weeks. In that time I have to get everything together. Go over safety rules with my staff. Move this, change that, the bathroom door doesn't swing closed by itself. Really, I say yet again, what does this have to do with food safety?

Having respect for food, cleanliness and concern for customer's safety just isn't enough I suppose.